I Have Waited Over Half My Life For The Wizards To Fire Ernie Grunfeld And They Finally Did It

WASHINGTON, DC – Chairman and CEO of Monumental Sports & Entertainment Ted Leonsis announced today that Ernie Grunfeld has been relieved of his duties as president of the Washington Wizards

Senior Vice President of Basketball Operations Tommy Sheppard will report to Leonsis on all basketball matters beginning immediately. The team will begin a search for a new head of basketball operations (which will include Sheppard as a candidate) upon conclusion of the season.

Grunfeld served as the Wizards’ president, overseeing basketball operations, for the past 16 seasons. He was hired prior to the 2003-04 season and compiled a record of 568-724 during his tenure with the franchise, reaching the playoffs eight times.

I honestly don’t know what to say other than I’m completely and utterly shocked. It’s not like he didn’t deserve to be fired. Dude went 568-724 over the past 16 seasons. 16! Only seven of those were winning seasons and only one of those seasons the team finished more than 10 games above .500. His best winning percentage was .598 in 16 seasons. That’s not good. At all. And it’s been going on for over half of my life.

As bad as he’s been, I felt like we were stuck with him forever. For whatever reason, I felt like Ted Leonsis was never going to fire his ass. Probably because 16 years of mediocrity is a loooooooooooonnnnggggg time. It’s almost as long as 20 years of mediocrity. Shoutout Dan Snyder.

So where do we go from here? Well first, we’ve got to hire a GM, obviously. Who, you ask? I have no idea. Watching professional basketball hasn’t been enjoyable for me for quite some time so the only time I watch is when I want to hate myself. I heard Luke Walton will probably be available when the season ends. Maybe we can hire him and his pops to tag team the GM role and pay them in drugs because I swear to god an acid epiphany is the only thing that’s going to get us through this cap situation. Either that or we let Bradley Beal walk/demand a trade, which I’d prefer not to happen.

Whoever we hire as GM, I have a couple of suggestions.

  1. Fire Scott Brooks – This was a weird hire in the first place. While we were trying to court one of the best players in the NBA, we hired his ex-coach who couldn’t even win the conference finals with him and another top five player in the league. That was weird. Let’s start over.
  2. Cut Dwight Howard and Jabari Parker – I honestly forgot Dwight Howard and Jabari Parker were on the team and they’re taking up $25 million in cap space. $25 million for two very forgettable people. That’s no bueno.
  3. Sign Kevin Durant and Kelly Oubre Jr. this offseason – Although KD has made it pretty clear he doesn’t really want to play for DC, we still have to try. He’s still Kevin Durant and he still grew up in the DMV. And trading Kelly Oubre Jr. was probably the stupidest thing Ernie has done in his 16 years with the Wizards. John Wall, Bradley Beal, and Kelly Oubre Jr. is one hell of a back court (assuming we can’t sign KD).
  4. Sign a couple solid rebound-machines – DeMarcus Cousins is a name that comes to mind. Maybe the Morris brothers. Maybe one, or both, of the Nikola’s. Or maybe Willie Cauley-Stein if we can get him for the low. Just thinking out loud here.
  5. Don’t be mediocre – We’re the Wizards. We’ve been mediocre for our entire existence except for a couple years in the 70’s. We need to stop doing that. Mediocrity is quite literally the worst thing in the world of sports. You’re not good to make the playoffs and you’re not bad enough to get a good draft pick for the possibility to draft a franchise player.

The last one is the most important. Don’t be mediocre. I swear to Allah I will stop being a Wizards fan altogether if we keep being mediocre. My job is monotonous enough, I can’t take it from my sports teams too.

PS. Is Scot McCloughan available?